You are not alone. Here are some helpful separation and divorce resources.
BOOKS FOR SEPARATING OR DIVORCING COUPLES
Fisher, Roger, and William Ury, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, 2011. A classic in the field of conflict resolution explaining how to identify interests, separate the people from the problem, and work to create options that will satisfy all participants.
Kranitz, Martin A., Getting Apart Together: The Couple’s Guide to a Fair Divorce or Separation, 2000. A comprehensive guide and mediation handbook for couples wanting to divorce cooperatively.
Marlow, Lenard, The Two Roads to Divorce, 2003. A comparison of mediation and litigation, and ideas on how to avoid the hazards that turn the divorce process into a nightmare.
Mercer, Diana and Katie Jane Wennechuk, Making Divorce Work, 2010. Tools and inspiration to renegotiate your relationship with your spouse, including keys for resolving conflict and practices to keep you sane.
Trafford, Abigail, Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life, 2014. A compassionate account by the journalist/author of weathering her own divorce, and an exploration of the emotional roller coaster ride through divorce, based on research and the experience of hundreds of divorced men and women.
High Conflict Institute. Institute founded by Bill Eddy, a mediator, attorney and social worker, that provides consultations, books, and free articles and videos for effectively engaging with high conflict, angry people, and hostile email and texts.
Maryland’s Peoples Law Library. An online law library providing legal and self-help information on Maryland and federal law, including family law and mediation.
New Beginnings. A support and discussion group for separated and divorced men and women in MD, DC and VA.
RESOURCES FOR PARENTS
Bonnell, Karen, The Co-Parents’ Handbook, 2014. Practical manual offering strategies to resolve the day-to-day issues of raising children in two parental homes.
Emery, Robert, PhD, The Truth About Children and Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions so You and Your Children can Thrive, 2006. Research-based guidance on how to handle divorce in a way that promotes children’s resilience.
Kids First Center, Kids First: What Kids Want Grown-Ups to Know About Separation and Divorce, 2008. Effective and less hurtful ways to deal with separation, based upon input from kids who have lived through the fallout of divorce.
Ricci, Isolina, PhD, The Co-Parenting Toolkit, 2012. Workbook packed with co-parenting strategies for both high-conflict and low-conflict times.
Winchester, Kent, and Roberta Beyer, Speaking of Divorce: How to Talk with Your Kids and Help Them Cope, 2001. Ideas for talking to children about divorce, including “Words you might use,” and, “Your children might wonder; You might respond.
RESOURCES FOR CHILDREN
Bruno, Ellen (Director), Split, 2014. DVD. 30-minute documentary film exploring the effects of divorce on children, as seen through the eyes of twelve children, ages 6 – 12.
Levins, Sandra, Was It the Chocolate Pudding? 2006. Gentle story for children ages 2 – 6, to help children begin to understand that divorce is about grown-up problems.
Ransom, Jennie Franz, I Don’t Want to Talk About It, 2003. For children ages 4 – 8, an exploration of the feelings they may have when parents separate.
Ricci, Isolina, PhD, Mom’s House, Dad’s House for Kids: Feeling at Home in One Home or Two, 2006. An operating manual for older children with Tips, Try, and Train Your Brain exercises for coping with the big changes.
Sesame Street Workshop, Little Children, Big Challenges: Divorce, 2012. A DVD with the Muppets and book set for children ages 2 – 8, as well as a guide for parents.
Stern, Zoe and Evan, Divorce is Not the End of the World: Zoe and Evan’s Guide for Kids, 2008. For older children, advice and perspective from a teenage brother and sister in a candid, lively, and easy-to-read format.
FREE ONLINE RESOURCES FOR PARENTS
Child-Centered Residential Guidelines
(American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers); 50+ page booklet for divorcing parents that describes sample time-sharing schedules based on the ages of the children.
Planning for Shared Parenting: A Guide for Parents Living Apart
(Massachusetts Chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts); booklet describing developmental research about the impact of divorce on children, along with ideas to consider when developing a parenting schedule.
The Truth about Children and Divorce
Robert Emery’s website offers parents Ten Tips for the Holidays, a Children’s Bill of Rights, and sample parenting plans based on the parents’ level of cooperation.
Up To Parents
Inspiring, and interactive website provides an opportunity for parents to consider 50 Commitments they could make to their children during periods of family conflict and stress.